Monday, February 19, 2007

I'm Getting Old!

I’m getting old; and perhaps the most disturbing thing is that I'm not as bothered by that as I should be. One of the ways I know I'm getting old is I'm finding it harder and harder to keep pace with technology; and often find myself seeking comfort in nostalgia – daydreaming about the days of rotary phones, two-button remote controls, and socks without microchips. I bought a cell phone in late December. I wanted a phone with a decent still and video camera so that I could capture all those precious, fleeting moments of my kids’ lives, like my daughter’s graduation from pre-school, or the time when Sam took off his diaper in the bagel shop.

Unfortunately, after nearly two months, I’ve yet to snap a photo with it. Thousands of menus, tiny buttons, all of this and a migraine-inducing, user-hostile interface have left me unable to master anything other than flipping it open – one handed, by the way.

Then, only two nights ago, I saw the commercial for the Jitterbug cell phone, and I was sold. I had the same reaction a couple years ago when I hurt my back then saw the commercial for the Rascal mobility scooter. I was dialing the phone before Jeopardy came back on. That scooter would have been mine in only 36 easy payments if Ema hadn’t put a hold on the credit card. But not this time, tootsie! The Jitterbug is the answer to all my technology-induced nightmares!

The Jitterbug has large, easy-to-read buttons, a cushioned ear piece, and a bright, easy-to-read display – it’s exactly what a person in his early forties needs! Who cares if it’s marketed toward people twice my age? That silly notion never stopped me from buying those wrap-around sun glasses, wearing black socks with sandals, or bringing my metal detector to the beach! Of course when I shared my enthusiasm with Ema, she was less than enthusiastic. She insists I’m experiencing some sort of middle-age crisis. I tell her that middle-age crises are signaled by the acquisition of items meant to make one feel younger – a red Mustang GT, a 23-year-old grad student, a toupee (although not in that order). Hell, I’m not only accepting my journey into the autumn of my life, I’m celebrating it! And furthermore, if she thinks I’ll be talking to HER on my Jitterbug while I cruise around CVS on my Rascal, then she’s got another think coming, because I’ll be punching the oversized speed-dial button, and calling that hot-looking, 81-year-old widow I met last week while feeding pigeons in the park!