Post Op – Day 2 – Misery Loves Company

First of all, hats off to Ema who went mono a mono with my ENT yesterday in a valiant attempt to get me some more potent meds. Loritab is essentially liquid Vicodin, the same medication prescribed to me for my wisdom teeth recovery two months ago. I’m sorry, but plucking a few little teeth and having my throat reamed out with a drain snake are hardly comparable and so neither should be the prescribed pain management! The doctor claimed that he doesn’t like prescribing any of the Oxy’s – Oxicodone’s for those in the know – because they are potentially addictive. In my mind, that makes about as much sense as car manufacturers advising against wearing those pesky seat belts because in the event of an accident your shoulder might get bruised. C’mon people, prescribe what I need, and let me take my own chances with the agony of withdrawal.

Alright – I promised myself that I wouldn’t build this post around one long rant, so I better make it a short one instead. My throat, by the way represents only half of my misery. My nostrils are packed with what feels like vintage newspapers and a few plastic ‘stints’ which, according to information I gleamed from my 45 second conversation with my doctor yesterday, are the only things supporting my nose at the moment. I fear sneezing out these stints and watching as my nose collapses against my face like a deflated punching bag.

More fun to come? You bet. My throat feels worse by the minute, so you can expect my next post to be even more uplifting! Keep the faith, my friends. I’ll be back to share more shortly.

Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty and Septoplasty Scheduled!

Folks if all goes as planned, I’ll be going under the laser-guided, serrated scalpel on Friday March 2^nd. Cards and flowers can be sent to me c/o Forest Lawn Memorial Park - Cypress California.

Now look – Ema tells me I have a tendency to catastrophize a bit, but you all know that she’s a delusional paranoid, so I guess both of us can’t be correct. While you’re digesting that, chomp on this - There's no way I'm going through this procedure without dragging every one of our fine listeners down with me, so one of us will be keeping y’all informed via this here Unblog.

So turn on, tune in, and drop out. . . it's what I'll be doing in just over three weeks. That, and contemplating the words of another brave American who faced tremendous odds with the courage of a thousand generals - Lance Armstrong: "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”